Rock's cousin Crutch owned a large former skating rink, apparently built in the 1930s. Its walls were filled with old Arkansas Razorbacks schedules. Razorback memorabilia was everywhere in the cavernous, dimly-lighted room.
Rock was there with Crutch's bother Bill. It was late and they were hungry, and Rock found a kichen with a sixty-year-old Frigidaire refrigerator stuffed full of frozen breakfast food—biscuits and gravy, and sausage biscuits with cheese. He cooked some of both on an oddly shaped stove top. The flame didn't appear large enough, and Rock and Bill both worried about the stove's potential to explode. Rock nevertheless continued to cook as he and his cousin talked Razorback football.
Friday, February 27, 2015
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Junior Deputy Golf Course
This was new to Rock, and nearly perfect. Someone had built a nine-hole, par-3 golf course on land near Junior Deputy Park, Cajun's Wharf, and the south bank of the Arkansas River in Little Rock.
Rock essentially stumbled across it, and found himself playing on it with a fat, middle-aged multimillionaire and the rich man's twelve-year-old son.
The course was rather complex, with multiple tees on each hole, including a few that measured no more than two or three feet.
Rock essentially stumbled across it, and found himself playing on it with a fat, middle-aged multimillionaire and the rich man's twelve-year-old son.
The course was rather complex, with multiple tees on each hole, including a few that measured no more than two or three feet.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Arguements
Rock was seated in a large, theater-style college classroom. There were no more than ten others with him so he assumed they were lounging between classes. The others. Not he. Rock wasn't sure why he was there. This was his first appearance in a college classroom in almost exactly twenty-nine years. An acquaintance from the Little Rock Hash named John Conn sat down a row in front of him, two seats to his left. Conn looked back toward Rock and in a angry tone said, "Hey, motherfucker, why are going around giving me all this shit for writing about you on Facebook? Fuck, man, I did it, what, maybe two of three times?"
Before Rock could reply, Conn had become someone else, a vaguely familiar graduate student from Fayetteville. Rock remembered from the mid-1980s. He was as angry as Conn. "I can't stand all you fucking pussies who love the goddamn three-point shot so much. It's fucking ruined basketball," he said.
Rock was confused. "What are you talking about? I'm no fan of the three-point shot."
"You're fucking lying. I remember. You loved it. You fucking love it."
In truth Rock hadn't seriously considered the three-point shot since 1986, when the college game first adopted it, and couldn't remember his first impressions other than he thought perhaps the college line should've been placed further back, more like where the pros had theirs. All he knew for sure was that this was getting weird.
Before Rock could reply, Conn had become someone else, a vaguely familiar graduate student from Fayetteville. Rock remembered from the mid-1980s. He was as angry as Conn. "I can't stand all you fucking pussies who love the goddamn three-point shot so much. It's fucking ruined basketball," he said.
Rock was confused. "What are you talking about? I'm no fan of the three-point shot."
"You're fucking lying. I remember. You loved it. You fucking love it."
In truth Rock hadn't seriously considered the three-point shot since 1986, when the college game first adopted it, and couldn't remember his first impressions other than he thought perhaps the college line should've been placed further back, more like where the pros had theirs. All he knew for sure was that this was getting weird.
Monday, February 9, 2015
Comedy Club
At least a hundred comedians were packed into Rock's house, there to compete throughout the night and the following day to see who was the funniest. Rock watched them from his bed and noticed that by early morning they had begun to wrestle one another.
They seemed frustrated, and confused.
Then it was Rock's turn. As he stepped from his bed into the pitch black he suspected he was trapped in his neighborhood, perhaps forever, with only the food in his house to subsist on. He ate a tube of energy gel and sat on his couch to mull over and attempt to clarify this odd situation.
They seemed frustrated, and confused.
Then it was Rock's turn. As he stepped from his bed into the pitch black he suspected he was trapped in his neighborhood, perhaps forever, with only the food in his house to subsist on. He ate a tube of energy gel and sat on his couch to mull over and attempt to clarify this odd situation.
Sunday, February 1, 2015
The running store fued
Chris Kimball, the star food researcher for America's Test Kitchen, was in Little Rock in his role as an expert on running shoe store management. He appeared at a picnic in his honor set in a Little Rock city park.
There were now three running stores in the Little Rock whereas a couple of years earlier there had been only one.
"I hate to even ask how they're doing," Kimball told Rock. "There's typically a great deal of animosity created between the different stores."
Rock would later admit he lied in his response. "No, these guys are working together well. There's a great deal of cooperation between the stores."
He cited as an example of the store's cooperation a story about his attempting to buy a specific brand of shoe at one store. "The guy said, 'Man, we don't carry those, but I'm pretty sure they'll have them over at Gary's store."
Rock had originally been at Bill Torrey's store in his story, and Torrey overheard his comments to Kimball.
"Rock, you got this all wrong," he said. "That kid was out to screw us. He was always sending people to Gary's store."
At least fifty witnesses watched as an employee of Gary's story tackled Torrey. The two fell to the grass and began flailing at one another.
Rock turned to Kimball. "See, like I said, these guys are really getting along splendidly."
There were now three running stores in the Little Rock whereas a couple of years earlier there had been only one.
"I hate to even ask how they're doing," Kimball told Rock. "There's typically a great deal of animosity created between the different stores."
Rock would later admit he lied in his response. "No, these guys are working together well. There's a great deal of cooperation between the stores."
He cited as an example of the store's cooperation a story about his attempting to buy a specific brand of shoe at one store. "The guy said, 'Man, we don't carry those, but I'm pretty sure they'll have them over at Gary's store."
Rock had originally been at Bill Torrey's store in his story, and Torrey overheard his comments to Kimball.
"Rock, you got this all wrong," he said. "That kid was out to screw us. He was always sending people to Gary's store."
At least fifty witnesses watched as an employee of Gary's story tackled Torrey. The two fell to the grass and began flailing at one another.
Rock turned to Kimball. "See, like I said, these guys are really getting along splendidly."
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